How To Live With Depression
Ride the wave.
Observe your Feeling
Take a step back and get unstuck.
Experience your Feeling
As a wave coming and going, try not to block the feeling. Don’t try to get rid of it, push it away, hold on to it, or make the feeling bigger.
Remember, you are not the feeling
You don’t need to act on it, but rather remember times when you have felt differently.
Become more comfortable with your feeling
Don’t judge it. Name your feeling. Invite it home for dinner and sit with it.
The above technique is called “Ride the Wave” and is a Dialectical Behavior Therapy distress tolerance skill that you can use instead of using destructive coping mechanisms to end the emotion early or hang on to an emotion. Depression can often feel like constant waves of emotions flooding over you; drowning you; blocking you from being able to get back to shore. When you are swimming in the ocean and keep getting hit by waves, sometimes you get tired and feel the need to rest but don’t know how. I remember when I was in high school swim class, my teacher taught us survival skills to use in the water (thank you Mr. Katz!). One of the things he taught us was how to stop fighting the currents and just float when you are in trouble. This technique helped you to conserve your energy so you can live to fight another day. That is what I visualize when I use the Ride the Wave technique! It is the skill you can use when you are exhausted from trying to combat the negative thoughts and feelings that you are having that are leading you to want to give up or use a destructive coping skill…it can be your flotation device! Some people may not see this as taking an active step forward or getting better, but think about it…floating to survive and saving energy for another day is better than using up all of your energy and sinking deeper or taking steps backwards.
Once you save a bit of that energy so you can fight another day, I would recommend usings some of the skills below to help improve your mood little by little. Many people have told me that mental health is all in your head and it is something people just need to get over…but it doesn’t always work like that! Of course it is “in your head”…it is MENTAL health after all…but it is not something that everyone is making up. Mental health is influenced by nature AND nurture; biological AND environmental factors; your experiences/how you were raised AND your genetics! Each of the hormones below are perfect examples of how our physical health and mental health are connected. You may find that by focusing on improving your mental health OR physical health, that the other will improve simultaneously. Personally, I have found that when I set aside time to eat better, stay hydrated, and exercise, my mental health improves bit by bit. Conversely, if I take time to use my coping skills, engage in more positive self-talk, and spend time with loved ones, my physical health improves bit by bit too!
Dopamine contributes to our ability to be alert, focused, motivated, and happy (mental health). Low dopamine levels are connected to reduced alertness, difficulty concentrating, less motivation and enthusiasm, poor coordination, and movement difficulties (physical health).
Oxytocin reduces blood pressure and cortisol levels (physical health), while also being linked to stimulating positive social interactions (mental health).
Serotonin influences our ability to learn, remember, and feel happy (mental health), as well as regulates body temperature, sleep, sexual behavior and hunger (physical health).
Endorphins are created in the pituitary gland and hypothalamus to relieve pain (physical health), while also relieving stress and put you in a better mood (mental health).
Whether you are ready to take on a physical health goal or a mental health goal, I’d say…GO FOR IT! Pick a goal that feels manageable to you right now and run with it. You may just find that in time, accomplishing that one little goal was the catalyst you needed to achieve some of your other goals! If you are using your skills and not seeing improvements however, please consider talking to your doctor and/or therapist. You may need some assistance in overcoming the depression (e.g., talk therapy, medication, support group/accountability partner, etc.).
